Twirlywoos – crime aficionados

Twirlywoos – crime aficionados

Now I’m the first to admit I’m partial to the odd CBeebies programme and have a *not so* secret love of Makka Pakka. Another one of my faves is the Twirlywoos. There’s just something about that little plump family that warms my heart, maybe it’s my uncanny resemblance to Toodloo and her weight issues post-baby.

But although I’d happily sit and watch it, there are a few questionable bits that have come up which make me think that the writers are either high or are secretly trying to make our kids cause havoc.


This poor sod is painted as the family pet. Apparently, he’s a sea urchin, which begs the question why is he inside the boat, and not on the outside clinging on for dear life? The Twirlywoos have done a good deed and adopted him into their family, but they are building a very strong case for the RSPCA, I would wager. He lives in the walls of the boat, terrified to come out when they’re home, and as far as I can tell, never been fed. He also cleans the boat top to toe… is this part of a wider slavery gang that we don’t know about?

Twirlywoos, Peekaboo, Toodaloo, Great Big Who, Chickadee, Chick, CBeebies,

You can see the fear in his eyes. Photo credit: BBC

Peekaboo also has some questionable bowel issues whereby he poops his bum juice on the walls whilst the Twirlywoos are destroying someone else’s poor house. Even more disgusting is the fact that they don’t clean it up and take him to the vet, but they sit and look at it for extended periods of time. WTF?

Great BigHoo

Daddy is the next on my hit list. This unfortunate bloke probably comfort eats due to his “fat shaming” nickname, and to numb the pain of his own crippled self-esteem he drinks copious amounts of that fruit tea, which looks like it’s full of sugar. He can barely lift himself off the ground with his “hair-propellers” (or whatever you want to call them) and is in serious need of a MOT check with his GP. I bet his blood pressure is through the roof and heart disease is looming.

Twirlywoos, Peekaboo, Toodaloo, Great Big Who, Chickadee, Chick, CBeebies,

Twirlywoos mid-fight, styling it out to look like a happy embrace. Photo credit: BBC

Chickadee and Chick

These are the adorable children. Mostly these two go around and follow the commands of their parents, which is unheard of from most (all) kids. They are wired on drinking that sugary fruit tea, which has also got an unknown caffeine content and race around hyperactive at every opportunity.

The poor kiddies have to earn their keep in the house, however, doing chores like collecting the tea in a glass teapot when they can be no bigger than 3/4 years old. Does no one think of the health and safety risk of a child carrying a glass teapot of boiling tea? And why do the parent’s run such a tight ship, when…

appalling acts of vandalism…

are committed at every opportunity? These parents seem to make sure their underfed pet cleans and kids make the tea; but then are happy to help them destroy a man’s clay artwork, hide multiple cakes, stack profiteroles up to the ceiling and post thousands of leaves through some poor chumps letterbox. It seems like double standards to me.


The Very Important Lady

Who the hell is she? And why on earth is she important? To me she just seems to invite herself around far too regularly and fall apart when she tries to sing… does she not realise the Twirlywoos won’t be her window to fame and fortune? If she comes any more often they’ll probably set her some jobs to do and find her a space in the wall with Peekaboo.

I hope she realises that they aren’t as innocent as they look. Who knows what else is in those walls… it could be like The Missing all over again.

Twirlywoos, CBeebies, Childrens TV, The Missing, Keeley Hawes,

Do your kids like the Twirlywoos?

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  1. January 9, 2017 / 5:27 pm

    My mum said the other day – D was enjoying watching that chicken programme – took a while to figure out it was the Twirlywoos she was talking about! ????

  2. January 16, 2017 / 6:07 pm

    Yes!! Totally agree, especially about the very important lady!! She grinds my gears!! Xx

  3. Charlotte Clark
    December 10, 2018 / 10:15 pm

    Loved this! Made me laugh and so true!!

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