So I’ve been an official mum for 3 months now and thought, everyone else seems to do updates, I’ll do one too. I’ve had a lot of problems since the birth of my daughter and it all began with my labour. Here is my therapy.
It feels like an age since that fateful day when my waters broke as I got out of bed to face my last day as a pregnant woman. Merely 24 hours before I was cuddling kittens and puppies at The Pet Show feeling miserable that I was 37 weeks and the size of a small maisonette. My in-laws were visiting and we all had a (final) curry in an unknowing celebration of pre-parenthood. But I guess you’d say it worked! Unsurprisingly we’ve not been out for a curry since. What I’d do for a hot Chana Puri right now.
The day it all began I optimistically put the TENS machine on and went out to Sainsbury’s to keep my mind off of the birth. It was all going really well until I was stood next to the flowers and got the strength dial caught on full. I felt like I’d been tasered, and I’m pretty sure the other shoppers thought I’d lost the plot at the volume of my yelp and the leap into the air in shock. I quickly decided that perhaps TENS wasn’t for me.
Nothing much happened between my electrocution and the following morning. I managed to sleep with two towels on the bed, I was constantly losing more of my waters and it felt grim! We woke up early and head to the hospital for an induction as things didn’t seem to want to happen on their own.
Once there things seemed to progress quickly, I was found to be 3 cm already so was taken down to have my forewaters broken. You have a “balloon” of waters above baby’s head and then the rest of the bag behind (hindwaters). My hindwaters had broken the previous morning. This kick started things majorly! I started contracting well after that and laboured quite quickly. By 7pm I was 7cm and not coping well with the pain. Pethidine and gas & air was my new best friend and my ACTUAL best friend was there looking after me (the only perk of being a midwife and having a baby). Which was amazing on all counts.
We fast forward a couple more hours and I’m screaming for an epidural top-up. Things have gone to pot and I’ve been pushing for 3 hours with no sign of much progression. I was exhausted, in pain and down hearted about the whole thing. I just knew I would never push her out on my own. We ended up in theatre and had the only thing I said I didn’t want. Forceps.
At 1.15 am my daughter was pulled into the world and I was so doped up I couldn’t even hold her. I was shaky and numb, having had about 6 IV drugs into my cannula. My husband had a baptism of fire and became the sole carer of a newborn and a wife that was “high” on drugs. It wasn’t until the following afternoon I actually came back into the world of the living and started picking up my end of the deal. Even as a midwife I was finding it difficult to process my birth, when I thought I should have had it all pegged. Since then I’ve not really been able to talk about it much until quite recently. Just because you’re trained it doesn’t mean that it can’t be a damaging experience.
My update on the first few months will continue… but for now I have a little baby wanting a feed…
If you fancy leaving comment, please do, they always make my day!