Why lie? Be “Team Mum” instead!

Why lie? Be “Team Mum” instead!

Why lie? That’s a phrase I bet we all say every now and again. But with this particular analogy I want to shout it from the rooftops.

Why do mums lie? I don’t mean those little white lies they tell their children to get them to eat vegetables or put their shoes on, but the lies that they tell other mums? By now you can tell I pride myself on being a realist when it comes to how my experience of motherhood is, so it really gets on my nerves when I sit and hear mums spout off rubbish. 

If you read my post called OMG your baby weighs what?! This bugbear sort of stems from that same smugness some women exude when they want to tell everyone about some nonsensical “achievement” that isn’t actually an achievement at all.

The other week I got really upset at a coffee morning, I’ve been going a long while now and whilst I haven’t “connected” with any other mums yet, I enjoyed chatting to perfectly nice people. This was until recently when the subject changed and it turned out the women were all very willing to start a one-upmanship battle. Quickly each and every woman (other than myself; because I don’t sign up to that crap) started going on about how amazing they are as super-mums. They have done the housework before the baby gets up, I’ll have you know! Well, it was all clearly rubbish. Once one started the web of lies, she made all of the other mummies feel like a lesser specimen, so they ended up carrying on her trend.

You may ask, “Well, what if they are feeling great”, and while I’m sure there are many women who genuinely are, it was blatantly clear they we’re feeling far from fabulous. All had moaned, no less than 5 minutes before, that their babies weren’t sleeping and they had thought sleep deprivation was a form of torture. SO, how do they now feel like Beyoncé on tour?

I have one small sentence to say to mums out there.

Please don’t lie, because you make other mum’s feel like they’re failing. You don’t know what they’re going through and a simple exaggeration can ruin someone else’s day.

OK, that wasn’t a small sentence, but do you catch my drift? Keep it real and be in “Team Mum – we don’t always brush our hair”!

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  1. February 1, 2016 / 11:11 am

    Goodness, people really lie over trivial things like that? I’ve always been fairly comfortable in my own sense to not seek ‘approval’ from other people – I know when I’ve done something well and I know when I’m struggling and I don’t need affirmation from other people to determine this (although, I can’t lie… I was VERY much the type of person who sought approval from others when I was younger and more needy!). I hope becoming a Mum doesn’t revert me back to my old ways but my house has NEVER been pristine and perfect and polished before children so I can’t imagine why on earth it would be after Pickle arrives.

    And we all know babies are different and develop at different paces and do things at different times – surely we don’t use baby ‘achievements’ as a way to rank our successes as parents?

    I’ve already got the impression I may not like Mummy Coffee Mornings… LPMx

    • February 2, 2016 / 8:19 pm

      I think we should have mummy/blogger/realist coffee mornings, they would be awesome I’m sure of it!

  2. Biba
    February 2, 2016 / 5:02 am

    I totally agree with you , why lie? i do as much as i can to take care of 4 yrs daughter and myself (pregnant now 14 weeks ) , i seriously don’t comb my hair everyday am blessed with curls so no one know, i don’t check my personal email everyday , i even sometimes don’t take shower . I get busy with things that i even don’t know if i did accomplish them or just forgotten in the middle and started doing something else .

    We are all Moms and we know it when other mom are pretending to be “Super-Moms” , I sometimes become a very clean,supermom but only when i have a home-maid assisting & a baby sitter.

    For now sitting at home sipping my morning coffee before my baby wakes up is an achivement & “my time” time .

    • February 2, 2016 / 8:22 pm

      Hope your coffee was amazing, I managed that for about 10 minutes this morning, it was like heaven!

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