So I had been really looking forward to taking my baby girl swimming. I had bought a happy nappy, swim suit and the compulsory rubber ring with a seat in. I’d had spent many a balmy evening picturing her splashing in the pool while my husband and I pushed her around in the ring. In this dream the pool was empty, the water was warm and we were laughing merrily like the people in the picture frames do before you replace them with your own, meagre alternative.This would be the best experience we’d ever had as parents and one that we would lovingly remember for the remainder of time.
That didn’t happen. Not even a little bit. We heartily walked to the pool whilst on our holiday at 3.30pm, picturing quiet, empty cubicles and dry floors. It was heaving and trying to find a changing cubicle was like finding the last 52 inch plasma tv on Black Friday. But with a lot more water and screaming children rather than screaming women.
After the fight for the cubicle we progressed to the next level of hades, the locker relay “situation”. Racing 5 other mums in questionable bathing attire to secure the final locker about 7 feet off the ground. Then proceeding to stuff in: 2 coats; 2 bags; a changing bag; a pair of wellies and some trainers required some degree level Tetris due to the inevitable, “Oh crap, I’ve only got enough change for one locker” issue. After a little bit of crying, at this point only from my husband, we managed to lock the door and escape to the next pit of misery…
The baby “pool”.
Lets be clear, it resembles more of a pissy puddle of questionable water quality. I breathe a sigh of relief as the image of us laughing as we push her around re-enters my mind. Oh no, not today sonny-Jim. Let’s pack a herd of toddlers and babies into a 3 square metre puddle and watch as they all scream splash and cry in unison. We put her in that flaming rubber ring and she screamed solid for the following 30 minutes until we finally admitted defeat at the failure this “first experience” clearly was.
We skulked back to the changing rooms for “Black Friday” part 2 and to the worst thing that happened that day…
I put my socked foot on the wet floor. FML.
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