Maternity Leave and ITVBe

Don’t mess with me…

Or should I call it #ITVBe?

I’ve been off for three weeks now, becoming much less mobile due to my severe SPD (what’s that?) and a lot more miserable as I approach “beached whale” levels of size.

My daily routine consists of an hour spent at one o’clock watching “Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders” where I sit staring at these women dancing about in a bikini with not one ounce of fat and no stretch marks in sight. To be honest, all their dance moves look the same to me. None of the “routines” seem any different to one another, I don’t know why they find it so hard!

I sit watching with my face much like the cat pictured.

Yesterday I tried to dance, I needed a lie down for 40 minutes with my husband fanning me with an unopened letter and a freezepop hanging out of my mouth. Now I won’t fool you into thinking I was a dancer pre-pregnancy, but I blame ITVBe for me trying to dance yesterday evening and the subsequent turn of events.

Other ITVBe favourites I have are “Big Rich Texas” and various “Real Housewives of…” that make me feel more pregnant than I’ve ever felt before. One positive from these programmes is that I am pretty confident I can launch a handbag line after everyone seems able to do this on “Real Housewives”. Or perfume, or lingerie, or even a singing career (a la Kim “Real Housewives of Atlanta” and “Don’t be tardy for the party” an amazing quality song)

Quite frankly I have no idea how this didn’t win a grammy. Ed Sheeran doesn’t have a patch on her skill.

While I sit and ponder old episodes on ITVBe for the afternoon, I’m going to find a slushy and 10 freezepops to satiate my one normal craving.

 

A Cornish Mum

I’m linking up with A Cornish Mum blog (www.acornishmum.com) and Mummy and Monkeys blog (www.mummyandmonkeys.com) #picknmix

Also linking with #PoCoLo via Mum in a Nutshell (www.muminanutshell.com)

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4 Comments

  1. July 8, 2015 / 8:23 am

    You cracked me up! I first started watching the “real housewives” when I was prego. My conclusion and reason I am now hooked is because they make me feel very level headed. I don’t twirl around a circle when I’m in a verbal altercation nor do I throw wine in people’s faces!

    Maybe you should start a purse line, or better find a new niche in baby bags! You never know!

    • July 8, 2015 / 8:26 am

      Maybe I should. If I start a line of baby bags I’ll make sure to credit you as my inspiration! You can have a freebie as well ;-). I’ll start brainstorming names for it right away! Xx

      • July 8, 2015 / 8:27 am

        Now that’s a deal! I’ll share your future line on my blog of course!

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