They say that the first year after having a baby is the hardest any relationship will face. The change in the dynamic is permanent and something that you can never prepare for.
God, I’m making it sound like you’re going to war when that little cherub arrives! Joking aside, it’s really important that you remember why you had this baby; because you love each other! So how do you stop each other from clawing each other’s face off when the other has had 12 minutes more sleep than you?
Date nights, that’s how. Yes, they are going to be almost impossible when your baby is very, very small but you don’t need to leave the house to have one. Obviously, if someone will babysit, bite their hand off, but if there isn’t that option, both sit and decide on a day to have one. If you know it’s planned then you can both look forward to it and be in the right frame of mind when it arrives.
There are lots of simple ways you can make an evening more special. A staple favourite in our house is getting a £10 deal from one of the supermarkets and having a fancy meal together. If wine can be included, it’s a bonus. Find one of your favourite films or hunt on Netflix for something new and enjoy each others company. For those few hours (I would like to say uninterrupted, but then you do still have a baby, so that’s highly unlikely) you can concentrate on reconnecting; talk about your week, reminisce about pre-baby times, have a cuddle on the sofa under a duvet, try and remember why you love each other.
When you have a baby there can be a whole host of new issues that come into play. Date nights are a fantastic way to not only spend some quality time with your partner but also work through your own post-birth quirks. Mum’s body is completely different now, it’s been through a birth, for God’s sake. Anxieties arise about “the baby weight” and concerns about not being “you”, but being mummy all the time. Dad’s can feel it too, they may have anxiety issues about being a good enough dad, about the birth that their partner has gone through and guilt about how they played a part in that. For some couples, it can mean that, for mums, they become introverted and disinterested in their hubby. For men, it can lead to erectile dysfunction and feelings of inadequacy as a father. Thankfully Mr Mumsy and I didn’t suffer from these issues and anxieties, but evidence shows that they are very common post-birth problems.
It’s hard to be a husband, wife or partner to your other half with a newborn, but it is invaluable you spend even a little bit of time together to clear your heads.
Now it’s Mumsy Midwife’s orders that you go down to M&S and get a meal deal and peruse the Netflix films for a night in together very soon!
If you fancy leaving comment, please do, they always make my day!